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Often, people only date people within a specific ‘type,’ which keeps them from exploring a wider variety of partners and relationship dynamics, says Brian Ackerman, a psychotherapist at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City. There’s a thin line between dating within your negotiable and overly restricting your dating pool. … But don’t only date one ‘type’ of person
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It can also be helpful to understand what feels negotiable vs. Do my goals and dreams involve another person or other people? To what extent or degree am I willing to work toward that right now?.What level of commitment, time, and energy am I willing to bring into this dynamic right now?.What is my preferred relationship structure? What is my relationship orientation?.“It’s helpful to know what you’re looking for as you go into dating,” says Jesse Kahn, LCSW-R, CST, the director and sex therapist at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City. Their commitment to safe sex may not necessarily be compromised by their practice of cum play, but the extent to which this could represent a risk for HIV transmission depends on the reliability of their assessment of their partners' HIV serostatus.Next, figure out what you want while dating Many feel confident in their knowledge of their partner's HIV serostatus and only use condoms with these partners at their partner's request. "Safe sex" for some gay and bisexual men does not necessarily mean consistent commitment to condom use or to avoiding semen exchange. Cum play was not uncommon and highlights the narrowness (or danger) of focusing on condom use without considering the implications of broader sexual practices and their meaning for sexual health promotion.
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They were also generally more optimistic about the likelihood of HIV transmission, and they often only used condoms at their partners' instigation. HIV-negative men who engaged in receptive cum play during PAIC often believed that their partner was HIV seroconcordant and tended to trust that partner. Receptive cum play (partner ejaculating or rubbing his semen over participant's anus, or participant using partner's semen as lubricant) was reported by one in six HIV-negative and one quarter of HIV-positive men on the same occasion of protected anal intercourse with a casual partner (PAIC). We investigated the prevalence of "cum play" and its context among 1153 HIV-negative and 147 HIV-positive Australian gay men in an online survey. The exchange of semen, often referred to as "cum play," has featured in gay literature and may be a unique aspect of many gay men's sexual behavior.